The un-comfortable truth about comfort
At just 17, my YeYa arrived in the Solomon Islands alone, speaking only Hoi Ping Wa (開平話 a dialect of Cantonese). He wasn’t paid for a year even though he worked from 6 am to 10 pm, Monday to Sunday. The reason? To pay off the expenses his uncle incurred to get him from Hoi Ping (開平 Cantonese pronunciation) to the then British Solomon Islands Protectorate (now Solomon Islands) to work for him. He was fed the leftovers from their meals and slept on two dining chairs put together because there was only one bedroom in the house which was occupied by his uncle, the wife and their newborn baby. After leaving his ‘employ’ a year later and finding employment with another uncle he was still only paid $10 a month for his 20 hours 7 days a week of work. He struggled for the next 28 years to provide for his family back in China and eventually his own family here in the Solomons after he got married and had kids.
There was nothing comfortable about his experience but now at the age of 86, he is in a financially comfortable position with a successful business. And yet he hasn’t chosen comfort. Despite chronic pain from years of grueling labor, he continues to work, driven by a resilience shaped in adversity. I attribute his refusal to stop challenging himself and his efforts at remaining active for his relatively good health at his age. Moreover, the mental resilience he built through his harrowing immigrant experience has also served him well as he too deals with the loss of his wife and son. He certainly picked himself up a lot faster than I did.
My YeYa and NenNen overcame great hardship and adversity. And I would argue that because of it, not despite of it, they achieved their dreams and became the incredibly strong, talented and resilient individuals that I know. They did it through hard work, determination, resilience, and adaptability and perhaps also in no small part due to the inescapable fact that not trying would have resulted in their demise. Some would have chosen to blame the world, throw up their hands and just give up but not YeYa and NenNen. They chose to seek and get comfortable in the uncomfortable. That’s something we’re not too familiar or comfortable with nowadays.
My YeYa didn’t have the luxury of comfort, and perhaps that’s why his life has been one of such strength and purpose. Today, comfort is everywhere, especially for my generation, but I wonder if we’ve lost something important in the pursuit of it. As time goes on and the world develops and progresses and invents new ways to be efficient, increase output and make things easier simultaneously there seems to be a regression of sorts. In a world saturated with comfort and the pursuit of convenience, I wonder if we’re all stunting our respective growth.
While my YeYa had no choice but to endure discomfort, today we live in a world where comfort is more accessible than ever. Fast food, instant communication, and endless entertainment all cater to our desire for convenience and comfort. I am certainly guilty of this. Too tired to cook? Get takeaway. Had a rough day? Binge watch Netflix. Love life not that great? Watch Hallmark movies. Feeling lonely and bored? Pick up my phone and scroll through Instagram and Facebook. Feel sad? Retail therapy or good ole emotional eating. Did I temporarily feel good? Yeah. Did it solve the real problem? No. Did I become a better version of myself? No. How often do we turn to these distractions when we should be confronting discomfort instead? For me, only when I put down the phone, plan my time to cook, or resist instant gratification to face what I’d rather avoid, do I feel better, stronger even. Discomfort isn’t just necessary for growth, it’s the key to it.
In a world constantly striving for efficiency and ease, we’re told to minimise discomfort, whether it’s through technology, social media, or convenience-driven consumerism. But by removing discomfort, we may be shielding ourselves from the very challenges that lead to growth. Struggle is what strengthens us, and without it, we may be missing out on the potential to become resilient, adaptable individuals like my YeYa.
To build muscle and lose fat we have to be uncomfortable as we challenge our muscles. The muscle fibres break and in fusing back together builds muscle mass. Likewise, we have to challenge our heart muscles to improve our cardiovascular health. Our heart too is a muscle and the more we use it the stronger and more efficient it becomes. The point is, we need discomfort via challenges in our lives in order to grow. So we need not be afraid of it. Pope Benedict XVI famously said, “The world offers you comfort. But you were not made for comfort. You were made for greatness.”
So, don’t pursue comfort but instead pursue growth. Because the uncomfortable truth about comfort is that comfort is not going to satisfy our innate desire for meaning and improvement in our lives. And the more we pursue comfort the further we will get from getting to where we actually want and need to be.
So, let’s stop seeking the easy path. Let’s embrace discomfort, challenge ourselves, and strive for growth—because greatness is never born from comfort.